RJA #15b: Reflection on What You Learned

In this class, I learned how to research a topic, summarize my research into an annotated bibliography and format my research into a paper. I learned about the different writing formats/styles of APA and MLA. I believe this class improved my writing skills and will therefore, assist me in school with any future writing assignments. I also think my new and improved writing skills will assist me at work when I have to write or draft any documents.

RJA #15a: Word Cloud

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1413914/Children_%26_Divorce

RJA #14: Annotated Bibliography, Part 2

1. U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2009. Section 2: Births, Deaths, Marriages, and Divorces, P.63. http://www.census.gov/prod/

This source provided statistics on marriages and divorces. It is a reliable cite as it a government cite. It fits into my research because I believe that showing the number of divorces may help show the impact this may have on children.

2. "Divorce." The Free On-Line Dictionary. 2000. Web. 30 Oct. 2009

This source gave a great definition of divorce - "a complete or radical severance of closely connected things" and "to cut off; separate or disunite." This is a credible source as it is associated with The American Heritage Dictionary. The goal of this source is to define divorce. I thought this source was very helpful as I think this definition really defines how divorce can radically effect a child's life.

3. Marquardt, Elizabeth. Between Two Worlds: the Inner Lives of Children of Divorce. New York: Crown Publishing Group, 2005. Print.

The main argument of this book is that there is no such thing as a good divorce. The author of this book personally experienced a good divorce and has had a normal and successful life. Regardless of this, she believes that as a child her world was turned upside down and has negatively impacted her life as an adult. I believe this source was reliable because not only was she writing about her own experiences, she also wrote about several interviews she did of adult children of divorce. The goal of this source was to make parents aware that no matter how well they believe they are handling the divorce, it will still have a negative impact on their child(ren). This source was very helpful and supported my argument.

4. Portnoy, Sanford. "The Psychology of Divorce: A Lawyer's Primer, Part 2: The Effects of Divorce on Children." American Journal of Family Law. Winter 2008: 126-134. Print.4.

This source basically outlined some of the effects of divorce on children during the divorce and in the years following the divorce. This source was helpful was similar to some of my other sources. I felt this was a credible source because it was published in a professional journal. This source was very helpful and supported my argument.

5. Eleoff, Sara. "Divorce Effects on Children: An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescents." childadvocate.net., n.d. 2 Sept. 2009.

This source, which was a website, addressed the long term impact of divorce on children. This was another source that was similar to some of my other sources.
I felt this was a credible source because the author of this website is a child and adolescence psychiatrist. It appears that this website has several contributors including doctors, attorneys, and a former director of the National Counsel of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. The purpose of this website is to "serve the needs of children, families and professionals while addressing mental health, medical, educational, legal and legislative issues." It doesn't appear that this website is bias.

This source was helpful because it supported my argument and it addressed the issue of children being afraid of repeating their parents' mistakes in their own relationships.

6. Lytle, Victoria. "Kids and Divorce." NEA Today. 13.3 (1994):1. Print.

This source was an interview that Victoria Lytle did of Judith Wallerstein about the effect of divorce on children at different stages/ages. It addresses the negative impact divorce can have on a child's outlook on life, personality and relationships. I felt this source was credible because Judith Wallerstein is a well known expert in this area. This source was helpful because it helped support my argument of the long term effects of divorce on children.

RJA #13b: Annotated Bibliography, Part 1

1. Manning, S. "Children of Divorce." Scholastic Update. 6 Sept. 1991: 13-15. Print.

This article shows two different view points on the effects of divorce on children, but the main argument of this article is that the effects of divorce on children can stay with them years beyond their parents actual divorce. Some experts believe that children deal with the stress associated with their parents' divorce in different ways and their problems cannot all be blamed on their parents' divorce. This article discusses the research done by known expert Judith Wallerstein and her study of 100 children over a ten year period. Wallerstein's study showed that "almost half entered adulthood as 'worried, underachieving, lonely, and sometimes angry ...'" Also, these children "tended to perform less well in school and had more behavioral and psychological problems than children raised by both biological parents" more than a decade after their parents' divorce. Of course, there are other experts who disagree with Wallerstein. Psychologist Robert Emery of the University of Virginia believes that children have "'a much higher level of coping [ability]'" and believes the majority of children "'can and will adjust to their parents' divorce.'" He believes divorce can be hard on children in the beginning but will do okay in the end. He says this can be accomplished by parents getting along, working together, and "remain[ing] warm, consistent, and authoritative in their discipline, and if there is economic stability" (emphasis added). The majority of experts tend to agree that the breakup of a family through a divorce has a greater impact on the children than it does on the parents. The majority of experts also agree that "children of divorce need greater social, financial, and psychological support."

This article is very useful because, as I said before, it address both sides of the argument that I address in my research. I believe this source is objective. It appears to come from a scholastic journal. I think because it presents both sides of the issue of the effects of divorce on children, it will fit well into my research and therefore, making this source very helpful. This source is also helpful because it introduces the concept of the "sleeper effect" which I don't believe I've seen yet in my other sources.

2. Jacobson, Linda. "Emotional Damage from Divorce Found to Linger." Education Week 16.37 (1997): 3. Print.

The main point of this article is that children experience the effects of their parents' divorce even in adulthood. This article addresses a study of children of divorce done by Judith Wallerstein, who is the "nation's foremost authority on divorce and children." Wallerstein believes that impact divorce has on a child builds up over time. Many children have relationship issues in early adulthood into their 30s including a fear of repeating their parents' mistakes and failing in their own relationships. Children of Divorce often experience a lower success rate in the area of education. Many do not graduate from college. Wallerstein states even though dealing with parental divorce is very hard on children, this does not mean they cannot be content with their lives.
The goal of this source is to highlight Judith Wallerstein's study and discuss the implication of divorce on education. This article has some useful information, but some is repetitive as Judith Wallerstein's study is mentioned in several sources. This source was helpful. It proves my theory that the effects of divorce can carry into adulthood.

3. Jenish, D'Arcy, and Driedger, Sharon Doyle. "Can Kids Cope?" Maclean's 107.25 (1994): 38. Print.

This article's main argument surrounds a survey of children showing that even though more than 80% of these children indicated that their parent's divorce "had either a positive impact or not effect on their education, personality, outlook on life and desire to get married," experts say that no matter how well these children are dealing with their parents' divorce approximately 20-50% of these children "will suffer from long-term trauma. There is a 50% chance that these children will experience divorce themselves. After a family break up, these children go from a normal home with two parents, to having "two houses, two bedrooms, two sets of clothes, two sets of toys and two sets of friends." Not all children of divorce will suffer from long-term trauma as some children are better able to cope than others. Some children of divorce may be better off if their parents' divorce when it involves a high conflict marriage. This article also points out the concept of "sleeper effect" introduced by expert, Judith Wallerstein. When children experience what is known as the "sleeper effect," this means that they appear to be fine during and after their parents' divorce and do not seem to experience any effects from the divorce until they are into their adulthood.

This article is useful and maybe more objective than my other sources. The goal of this source is to show that not all children suffer from their parents' divorce. This source concept fits well into my research as I can use it as a counter argument.

4. Lach, Jennifer. "The Consequences of Divorce." American Demographics 21.10 (1999): 14. Print.

This article addresses a study done by a college professor, Nicholas Wolfinger, that indicates that the rate of divorce for children of divorce is declining and this is an indicator that divorce is having less of an impact on children. Wolfinger believes this may be true because divorce is more "socially acceptable" and "no longer takes such a strong toll on kids." Because of this, Wolfinger believes children are "better equipped to succeed in their own marriages." Wolfinger also indicates that the rate of marriages among children of divorce is decreasing. These children instead are choosing cohabitation rather than committing to marriage. Lach points out this could be a reflection of "their declining faith in the institution of marriage."

This source is very useful. I like this article because the point of the article is to diminish the effects of divorce on children, but instead it proves my point that divorce does have a negative effect because these children of divorce now do not have faith in the concept of marriage. I think inadvertently, this article points out that the issue is not the fact that divorce is more acceptable but the fact that cohabitation is more acceptable. Because they can choose cohabitation over the commitment of marriage, they do not have to risk following in their parents' footsteps. They can just walk out the door if the relationship doesn't work out.

This source fits into my research because it not only proves my argument but shows another person's perspective on the issue and how they interpret these changes in marriage rates as opposed how I or another person could interpret them. This article does not change how I think about my topic.

RJA #13a: Field Research Report

PERSONAL INTERVIEWS - Questions/Responses:

1. How old were you when you realized your parents were having marital problems?

LC: I do not remember any family arguments. My parents made it a point not to argue in front of us. I remember the day my mom kicked my dad out of the house. My mom told us that dad was not going to live with us any more. After that I cried a lot at night in bed.

AG: As long as I can remember my dad was always moving in and out.

2. Did you ever think that your parents might separate or divorce?

LC: No
AG: My parents were always separated.

3. How old were you when your parents divorced?

LC: 5 years old
AG: 11 years old

4. I had to take sides in my parents' conflicts (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: somewhat agree
AG: strongly disagree

5. At any time during your parents' divorce were you feeling pulled between your parents or put in the middle parents' arguments and having to assume the role of "peace maker?

LC: My mom would put us in the middle as she would say bad things about my dad. My dad never said anything bad about my mom. I remember feeling like they put me in the middle of an argument about me needing braces which they fought about and I felt like it was my fault that they were fighting.
AG: no

6. When you were growing up, did you feel too responsible for taking care of your mother/father/brother or sister?

LC: No, but my older sister took on this role. I remember my teachers telling my mom that I was more well adjusted then kids with two parents. But I had a lot of stomach problems and the doctor determined that I appeared to be fine on the outside, but I was not fine on the inside.

AG: Not until I started to live w/ my father and then I assumed the role of caretaker which I carry to this day.

7. At any time in the years after the divorce, were you asked to choose which parent to live with?

LC: I lived primarily with my mom, but when I was a freshman, I chose to live with my dad.
AG: No. I didn’t have a choice.

8. I often missed my mother/father (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly agree
AG: strongly disagree

9. Did you ever feel abandoned by mother/father?

LC: no
AG: Yes; by my mother.

10. There are things that my mother/father has done that I find hard to forgive (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: Strongly agree. I’m still upset with my mother for sending me to live with my father so she could be with her boyfriend.

11. Did you blame one parent for the divorce or were you angry at one or both parents because of the divorce/family problems?

LC: no
AG: The divorce was my mother’s fault and was and still may be angry with her.

12. I generally felt physically safe (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: somewhat disagree
AG: strongly agree

13. I was alone a lot as a child (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly agree
AG: strongly disagree (I don’t think so, but I can’t remember.)

14. If you answered yes to #13 above, did you feel isolated or lonely?

LC: yes
AG: N/A

15. Sometimes I felt like I didn't have a home (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: strongly disagree; I had many homes as I was always floating back and forth between my mom’s, dad’s and grandparents.

16. I generally felt emotionally safe (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly agree
AG: strongly agree

17. I felt like I had two families (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly agree
AG: strongly agree

18. I felt like I had two homes (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: somewhat agree; when I was living with my mom I felt like her house was more my home as I with her more than my dad.
AG: strongly agree; I actually had lots of homes (moms, dads, grandparents)

19. Did you have difficulty adjusting to two households?

LC: no
AG: no

20. When you were growing up did you ever run away from home?

LC: I threatened to runaway, but I never did.
AG: no

21. When you were growing up were you ever kicked out of the house?

LC: When I was living with dad and visiting my mom, I got in a fight with my mom and she kicked me out of her house and told me not to come back unless I was going to follow her rules. W eventually made up and she allowed me to come back.
AG: yes

22. I feel I can depend on my friends more than my family (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: strongly agree

23. Do you feel you and your parents have a close relationship?

LC: yes
AG: My mom and I have a friendship we do not have a mother/daughter relationship. Personally I do not feel like I have a daughter/father relationship I feel like I’m his parent and took on the role as therapist when he was going through his divorce.

24. When I have a conflict with someone, I usually feel it can only get worse, not better (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: strongly disagree

25. I have experienced many losses in my life (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: strongly disagree

26. I don't feel that anyone really understands me (strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree).

LC: strongly disagree
AG: strongly disagree

27. In general, would you say most people can be trusted or you can't be too careful in life?

LC: I would say you can't be too careful in life.
AG: Most people can be trusted, but trust has to be earned.

28. What is your marital status?

LC: married
AG: married

29. Did you and your husband live together before you married?

LC: yes
AG: yes

30. Taking all things together, how would you describe your marriage (very happy, pretty happy, not too happy).

LC: Between not too happy and pretty happy as we fight a lot.
AG: not too happy

31. How old were you when you got married.

LC: 1st marriage: 21 years old; 2nd marriage 31 years old
AG: 24 years old

32. Have you ever been divorced? If so, how old were you when you got divorced.

LC: yes - Age 27
AG: no

33. Do you have children? If so, how many?

LC: yes - one
AG: no

34. What is your level of education (graduate degree, bachelor's degree, associate degree, some college, HS degree, no HS degree).

LC: bachelor's degree
AG: some college

NOTES: LC indicated to me that had I asked these questions to her older sister, she feels her sister's responses would have been a lot different because of their age difference, her sister has different memories of the divorce. She was the caretaker and seemed to take care of everyone in the family and was a lot closer to their father and had a harder time with the divorce.

RJA #12b: Presentation Plan

The Long Lasting Effects of Divorce on Children

1. Children's Negative Experiences during Parents' Divorce:

• feelings of loneliness, pain, anger, grief, sadness
• feelings of being put into the middle of their parents conflict
• feelings of abandonment
• feeling that the divorce is their fault
• difficulties adjusting to two households

2. Children's Positive Experiences during their Parents' Divorce:

• feeling fine with their parents' divorce
• feeling their parents' decision to divorce was a good one
• feeling relieved that their parents' fighting is over
• feeling safe now that one parent is out of the home
• feeling they are better off or not affected by their parents' divorce

3. Causes of Children's Experiences during their Parents' Divorce

A. These experiences are as a direct result of their parents divorce and causes include:

• parents putting their needs before their children's needs
• parents putting their children in the middle of their conflicts or using their children as pawns during their divorce
• parents splitting their household so the children's home as they knew is completely dismantled

B. These experiences are not as direct result of their parents divorce and causes include:

• individual temperament
• genes
• sibling/peer relationships

4. Negative Effects of Parents' Divorce that can carry into Adulthood

• difficulty trusting others
• fearful of commitment
• difficulty with intimacy
• feelings of isolation and loneliness
• struggles with low self-esteem

5. Positive Effects of Parents' Divorce that can carry into Adulthood

• many become stronger
• many become wiser
• many become better communicators

6. Minimizing the Effects of Divorce on Children - Can it be done?

A. Some experts believe that the effects of divorce on children can be minimized and if parents have a "good" divorce, their children can survive the divorce without experiencing any negative effects.

B. Some experts believe there is no such thing as a "good" divorce and divorce will always have a negative effect on children.

7. Works Cited

RJA #12c: Introduction Check

I checked out Tai's and Christie's blogs.